October 20th, 2020
“It's supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it.”

This cliche applies to everything in life, but today, I’m talking about dating apps.

What has your experience been with dating apps? For me, 4 out of 5 people I met on there were losers.


1 - No barrier to entry

There is no barrier to entry to join the app-dating pool. 

Anyone can join these apps. The world is full of losers, so it makes sense they join the apps (everyone wants to find love, right?).

In the real world of dating, there are tons of barriers to entry. In the real world, you need to build up the courage to talk to people you’re attracted to. In the real world, you need to build the social skills to be able to court someone. You need to display confidence, status, and worth. 

That stuff’s not easy to do. It takes years of practice and failure. With an app, you get to skip much of this (which is bad for the long-term).

If it was easy, everyone would do it!

2 - Reactive People

Another point. The typical desirable person on a dating app is usually “reactive”. Because they have so many matches, they can “react” to the algorithm or the matches that come to them. They are less interested in searching for love and being proactive about it. “Why go to the bar when you can swipe Tinder while taking a shit?

They’re satisfied with love being “handed to them”. They’re not go-getters. I want to be with a go-getter

3 - False Sense of Progress

Dating apps also give their users a false sense of “progress”. When I was on the apps, I would match and chat with people and “feel good” about my worthiness as a mate, yet I never left my house! 

This is obviously not real progress. 95% of my matches would actually never turn into a date, and those dates were never with the matches that excited me the most in the beginning.

I’m not saying “dont use dating apps” but rather “use dating apps as a tool”

Dating apps can be helpful to put yourself out there, and I know a few people that have met their life partners on the apps.

But there are other channels to meet people that might be more effective (less time & effort & better results). They might just be a bit scarier to do at first.

Lastly, using the apps is a huge time suck!

Disclosure: I’ve been on dating apps for years. Yes, I’m a loser too.